Day 51 - English as a foreign language

On this day in Smith/Walsh walking history, nothing happened.

So, that means it's time to dig out something trivial to discuss. As I love language, let me teach you English. Ah, you think you know it, then you come here and talk to someone only to find them looking at you oddly, walking away in disgust and never returning.

When we came here to live about 14 years ago with the kids, I think I spent every day of the first year making a major linguistic faux pas at least once. I still probably do it. I used the term "fanny pack" once too often in front of Lady Jane Tanqueray, until finally she stopped me and said, "It's a bum bag. A Fanny is private area of a woman's anatomy." I always thought your fanny was your bum! Hmmm. How did we get that so wrong? That simple correction explained more than one of the odd looks I received when I was in a shop saying something to the effect of, "Just let me see if I can dig out the correct change from my fanny." 

Here's a few other words we don't use correctly, apparently:

• Gotten: In England, arguably the most archaic of all countries, the use of an expression such as, "They've gotten loads of fanny packs in" is considered archaic use of the language. It's simply "they've got loads of ...um...bum bags in."
• Bin: A bin is apparently a garbage can. So, don't tell the librarian you will just throw the book in the return bin. She'll take great offense.
• Trainer: In Canada, if you're lucky, you might get a really sexy trainer at the gym. In England, if you started to oggle your trainer, you would be staring intently at your running shoes and you might end up in a place without laces in your trainers.
• Jumper: Now, this word has a variety of uses in Canada: it could mean someone ready to meet the fishes after a swan dive off a bridge, or it could be that really cute little pinafore you put your daughter in on her first day of school. So, when you're in England, and they ask you if your son has the proper size jumper for his first day of school, you may get a bit nervous until you learn it is a pullover sweater. Not that there's anything wrong with anyone wearing any form of jumper, no matter the definition.
• Pants: Okay, I have to admit that I still make this mistake...all the time. In England, pants are underwear. The word for pants as we know them is trousers, even for women. So, if you tell someone you love their pants, prepare to be slapped or suddenly engaged.
• First floor: It's the second floor in England. Don't ask me why. The number of times I have gotten  got out of an elevator lift on the second floor first floor, only to find there is no way out to the front sidewalk path! The first floor is the ground floor. 

And then there is food. How did we possible change from courgette (zucchini), aubergine (eggplant), jacket potato (baked potato), crisps (chips), pudding (dessert), fairy cake (cupcake), ice lolly (popsicle), and fizzy drink (pop)? 

Now that you have food down, let's try to make our way around a kitchen. The stove is called a cooker, saran wrap is cling film, garbage bags are bin liners, paper towels are kitchen roll, a blender is a liquidiser, a vacuum is a Hoover, dish soap is washing up liquid. You can see how much fun shopping is the first few times you do it. (And on that, if you see the shop Currys, they don't sell Indian food...you'll wait a rather long time for your order. But they do sell cookers and hobs if you want to make your own.)

As a Canadian, it does take you a while to get use to asking where the toilet is rather than the washroom. Here, the toilet is the washroom. So, it is perfectly respectable to ask, "Where's the toilet?" You think you are being a bit specific with your questions, but it's all good. Someone will point the the sign on the wall that reads  "Toilets --> " just in case you were still having doubts that you weren't being vulgar. And then, right when you have that figured out, and you find yourself doing the pee-pee dance, the only doors you can see have W.C. written on them (for water closet)...which really is a much nicer term than toilet, don't you think?

If you should get sick after one particularly delicious banger (sausage), you may have to go to a surgery (doctor's office) or see a chemist (pharmacist).

It's the same language, but it isn't used in the same way at all. It took me two years to discover that when someone says, "Well, aren't you clever?!" they weren't being sarcastic, they were genuinely being complimentary. Unless they were being sarcastic...British humour. Now there's a topic for another blog.